Post 6: December 8 2014

I've been shaky today, my hands wouldn't keep still. I'd have sudden moments of insanity, where I'd feel afraid, terrified. Reality isn't real to me, but nobody but Damian can understand. His insanity is my insanity, and he's the only one I can trust.
I am not sure who to trust anymore. I can't trust the doctors, therapists or anyone like that anymore. They work for the government (King), they're in my head, can read my thoughts and control them. My "family" and "peers" as well, they cannot be trusted, they're all out to get me. Only Damian can be trusted.
Damian can see the same reality as I can, even if I'm slightly more paranoid than he. I need someone who can see them, hear their harsh voices. The other night was hard, they wouldn't leave me alone, and so I didn't sleep at all. I was found by my aunt pacing, after spending hours rocking back and forth.I feel myself drifting away from reality, from society even. This isn't my reality, granted, but I still feel a sense of disconnection from others and myself.
My therapist says that Damian is schizophrenic, meaning that he sees things that aren't really there, but that's not true. I can see them too, and so, they are real. He's just under the control of the King and is incapable of seeing them. My therapist wants to give me medicines to help the King control me, or possibly poison me. I don't understand why they're all out to get me when I haven't done anything to them.

Post 5: December 4 2014

I awoke with blood crusted beneath my fingernails and on my shirt. Random patches of blood... and nothing to cause it. No wounds, rashes, or anything else that could qualify as a source of the blood. "What did you do?" I heard Alice ask, as I stared in the mirror, shaky at the sight of blood. It unnerved me, not knowing the cause of it.
Nothing, I didn't do anything, honest!
"You killed them... you killed them!"
No, I didn't kill anybody, I've been asleep since midnight!
"Really? How are you so sure?"
...
"You still need to and want to go home," she reminded me, and I sighed.

Home. It isn't where I live on this Earth. My home is beyond this fake reality, beyond this reality of programmed humans and shadow-beings. My home... it's where I know that reality is real and that I am real. I miss my home, where I had my real family and my real friends. I'm sure that they miss me as well. I saw Them twice today, had a mental breakdown in school. I was screaming, I think, and terrified. I was in the Social WOrkers Office for three hours. I saw Bodrik, but nobody cared. They just asked if I'd talked to my therapist about this, and wanted to call the Crisis Clinic. I had to talk to my therapist's boss, and he simply listened. They tell me not to believe that the Shadows are real, that they didn't exist.

Beings:
Dog- A male doggish type of creature
King- The ruler of the SHadows
Bodrik- The assistant of the King who tried to kill me when I was ten.
400- Satan, told me that God has abandoned me and that he was my god now.
Alice- Fairly neutral, not too aggressive.
Freak- An asshole who calls me worthless, useless and that everyone would be happier without me.
Narrator- Is absolutely harmless and merely narrates every single action and thought of mine.
October- A slightly depressed teen, but is a friend and kind ally of mine.

Post 4: November 30 2014

It's been confirmed. The shadow-people are real. They exist. I'm not the only one who can see them. I'm not crazy, even though others cannot see them, in the same way that not everybody can feel God's presence in their lives. Damian sees them as well, hears their commanding voices and feels their presence. They're real and I'm not their only victim!
"We're the weirdoes of this world, the freaks... and we see them. What if their the outcast of theirs and that's why we could see them? Since we're both crazy, maybe that's why could communicate with each other? Doesn't that make sense?"
"Maybe we see the real world, but the others, their minds are being controlled? What if they're the crazy ones?" I asked, and we laughed.
Nobody believed us, they say that it's not real. They just can't see it. The King has them under control. I'm one of those whom managed to see the real world. The thing about the Shadow-People is that they hadly show themselves, if there's other people- real ones- or speak to you. The King wants others to think I'm crazy so that they don't believe me and see the real world or even consider what I'm saying. The real world can be terrifying, but at least I know that I can see what's real.
I need to free others, I need someone out there who believes me. Is anyone out there, who's also human like me?

Post 3: November 25 2014

He's putting thoughts in my head, taking them out. My head feels empty. Only one thought's been in my head: my job to kill someone. The knife across from me is tempting, I can feel him watching me. This isn't a very pleasant situation, because I am afraid, but this is my job, my mission. I hear him whisper faintly "kill" before disappearing completely.

It's hard. Hard to sleep, eat, breathe even. I'm not exactly doing a good job at being a functional human being. I can feel him watching when I am alone in the halls, when I'm at school. I'm scared. Help me. It's getting harder to function properly. I've been zoning out a lot, when he empties my mind and puts thoughts in my head that I couldn't block out.

He's out to kill me.

My thoughts exactly

Post 2: November 22 2014

I spoke to him last night. In the darkness of the room, I lay on the bed, my eyes staring numbly at the ceiling. Hours passed, and it was 2 in the morning when I finally heard the familiar male voice of his, the Shadow-King, as I'd come to call him. "Are you awake?" He asked me, and I nodded, forgetting to remind myself that he wasn't even real. He spoke to me, going on about something that I couldn't keep up with, my mind blank and numb. I remained staring at the ceiling.

"You could do it, you know," he whispered, almost as if he was saddened, "you can k**l them all if you wanted to."

"I know," I responded.

"Why don't you?"

"I can't," I sighed.

"You can," he persisted, and I felt as if he was in the room with me, watching, just in the shadows.

"I don't want to."

"What happened to you? I thought you wanted to go home," he sighed, and I remembered, remembered that horrible belief I held deep inside, that I'd never vocalized to anyone.

"Get out of my head," I muttered, my head feeling like it had a hive of bees inside of it.

I felt it, he was in my head, putting thoughts in, taking thoughts out, filtering, controlling. It's been planted. I had a microchip in my head. The battle is over, and I had lost.

Post 1: November 20 2014

 Shadow-beings, monsters, whatever you call them, they're there. I know they're there, but not very many people can see or detect them. They control human beings, disguising themselves as one, so that they can take over more people and put microchips in their brains.. Sometimes, they kill those they can't win over. When they take someone over, they control the person's emotions, thoughts, actions and everything else about them. And the sad part is that the mindless puppets still think they're "normal" or that the thoughts in their head are their own. Few of us know what life is like beyond the grasps of the unholy beings, what it's like to know about the darkness that exists in this world alongside us.

I'm afraid for the rest of humanity, the actual humans, and not those... programs, puppets of the Shadows, who are being telepathically controlled by the Shadow-beings. They, we, need to realize what's going on and take a stand or something. I need someone to help me, to believe me. I'm scared. I'm not sure who's real, who isn't, and I'm scared. If there's someone out there, a real human being, please contact me. I'm losing my mind, please, help me.