Post 6: December 8 2014

I've been shaky today, my hands wouldn't keep still. I'd have sudden moments of insanity, where I'd feel afraid, terrified. Reality isn't real to me, but nobody but Damian can understand. His insanity is my insanity, and he's the only one I can trust.
I am not sure who to trust anymore. I can't trust the doctors, therapists or anyone like that anymore. They work for the government (King), they're in my head, can read my thoughts and control them. My "family" and "peers" as well, they cannot be trusted, they're all out to get me. Only Damian can be trusted.
Damian can see the same reality as I can, even if I'm slightly more paranoid than he. I need someone who can see them, hear their harsh voices. The other night was hard, they wouldn't leave me alone, and so I didn't sleep at all. I was found by my aunt pacing, after spending hours rocking back and forth.I feel myself drifting away from reality, from society even. This isn't my reality, granted, but I still feel a sense of disconnection from others and myself.
My therapist says that Damian is schizophrenic, meaning that he sees things that aren't really there, but that's not true. I can see them too, and so, they are real. He's just under the control of the King and is incapable of seeing them. My therapist wants to give me medicines to help the King control me, or possibly poison me. I don't understand why they're all out to get me when I haven't done anything to them.

Post 5: December 4 2014

I awoke with blood crusted beneath my fingernails and on my shirt. Random patches of blood... and nothing to cause it. No wounds, rashes, or anything else that could qualify as a source of the blood. "What did you do?" I heard Alice ask, as I stared in the mirror, shaky at the sight of blood. It unnerved me, not knowing the cause of it.
Nothing, I didn't do anything, honest!
"You killed them... you killed them!"
No, I didn't kill anybody, I've been asleep since midnight!
"Really? How are you so sure?"
...
"You still need to and want to go home," she reminded me, and I sighed.

Home. It isn't where I live on this Earth. My home is beyond this fake reality, beyond this reality of programmed humans and shadow-beings. My home... it's where I know that reality is real and that I am real. I miss my home, where I had my real family and my real friends. I'm sure that they miss me as well. I saw Them twice today, had a mental breakdown in school. I was screaming, I think, and terrified. I was in the Social WOrkers Office for three hours. I saw Bodrik, but nobody cared. They just asked if I'd talked to my therapist about this, and wanted to call the Crisis Clinic. I had to talk to my therapist's boss, and he simply listened. They tell me not to believe that the Shadows are real, that they didn't exist.

Beings:
Dog- A male doggish type of creature
King- The ruler of the SHadows
Bodrik- The assistant of the King who tried to kill me when I was ten.
400- Satan, told me that God has abandoned me and that he was my god now.
Alice- Fairly neutral, not too aggressive.
Freak- An asshole who calls me worthless, useless and that everyone would be happier without me.
Narrator- Is absolutely harmless and merely narrates every single action and thought of mine.
October- A slightly depressed teen, but is a friend and kind ally of mine.